Connecting to your tribe, or tribes, contributes to your overall well-being and can even lead you to or keep you on your path. You might love what you do, but if you are not surrounded by people you connect with, you will find something is lacking. Human beings are social. You need social contact, but you need to attract the right kind of social interactions for them to be meaningful to you. It is about being social and feeling connected. You need your tribe.
What is a tribe? Here, it is defined as a group of people sharing the same passions, interests and values. A tribe can be big or small, and in today’s world, it can be a group you meet in person, or virtually, via social media. You can connect at a professional or a personal level, across geographical and cultural boundaries. You can have different tribes simultaneously and throughout time your tribes are likely to change as you evolve.
Here are 7 ways to find your tribe:
1. Set your intention
Recently I found myself thinking that I wanted to connect to ‘different’ people. Couldn’t be vaguer, right? And even that took me a while to realize! When I did, I started to define what I wanted – an international group of people who are or want to actively craft their life. There are actually quite a few around me, but I wasn’t seeing this clearly – I had not defined it as such.
This reminds me of a friend who recently told me that she started thinking of having her first baby and now she sees babies everywhere! It is a bit similar when it comes to your tribe. If you define what you are looking for and set your mind to it, you see it more clearly and you attract it.
2. Be alert to energy levels and be bold
You get energy from people you interact with in the same way you get energy from activities you enjoy. This is a simple but often overlooked point.
A little while ago, my husband and I had someone over for tea. We sat on the terrace and talked about subjects close to my heart. Yet after the person left, I felt drained. The energy was not right, this person is simply not part of our/my tribe, despite (at least some) shared interests and values.
Be conscious of how you feel when you spend time with people, uplifted or drained, and focus on the ones who give you energy. If it is not the right level of energy, be bold and consider this. It simply means it is not the right match – no judgment on either side. If the energy is right, be equally bold by looking for more opportunities to connect.
3. Leave judgment behind
You are unique and special – and so are all the wonderful people you meet. If you see someone at a gathering, you might be quick in judging how she looks or behaves. By doing this, you might miss a great connection. You need to look beyond the obvious, be curious about who the person is, what she is longing for in her life, what drives her. You will be surprised at what you discover.
4. Call in your tribe
A client of mine decided to leave her current fixed job to become an independent human resources consultant and eventually set up a company and developed a new approach on leadership. This was a big step for her as she is quite risk-averse. Therefore, she was very careful about talking about her project to other people and consciously avoided any conversations that held her back. She only shared her ideas and thoughts with people who she knew would support her and/or could give her valuable advice. When you need support, call in the people who believe in your dream and who encourage you. This will make you stronger and keep you in your power.
5. Get inspired
Look for people who inspire you and for someone who has done or is doing what you would love to do. If you want to set up your own business, however big or small, you need inspiration, you need to see that it is possible, you need to get ideas and input from others. If you want to look for another job, look up people who have done it. Join groups or events; attend workshops or courses related to your interests and passions. Get engaged with the people you meet, ask questions and identify what you can learn from them. Get inspired. Great connections can come from this.
6. Go for it and take action
Once you find people who inspire you and give you energy, reinforce the connection. Tell them what you admire in them and how much you enjoy their company. Don’t shy away from recognizing the greatness in others. It will not only make them feel good – you are likely to hear something great about yourself too. Take it one step further by taking actions that reinforce the bond – organize the next meeting, set up a lunch (or drink, dinner) with one person or more, invite them to join you to go to an event, share useful information, set up a Facebook group or anything else that inspires you.
7. Make it regular
Knowing your tribe is fantastic but make sure you are nourishing that need. For you to benefit from the interaction and being with your tribe, you need to make sure you regularly do so. A one off is unlikely to have a great effect. You need to commit to it and make it part of your life. Of course, once you realize all the benefits and feel the change in your energy levels, you will want more. Give your tribe the time and space it deserves.
Finding your tribe is not a linear process. It is organic and grows with you as you grow and change. Actively identifying your tribes and connecting to them enriches your life.
Do you have any other ideas or suggestions? Please share, I’d love to hear about them.